


Vitiated

by madaliz



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Basically all the Zoldycks, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-10 16:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2031777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madaliz/pseuds/madaliz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zeno Zoldyck is dying. Killua finds reason to believe that someone in his family is the cause of this. Fearing for Alluka's safety (and succumbing to his nagging curiosity), he returns to Kukuroo Mountain to find the culprit and stomp out the threat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The romance in this fic is in the background, it's really mostly plot.

_The first time all living members of the Zoldyck family were present in one room was for a funeral. Looking back, Killua finds it laughably fitting._

_He has only vague memories of it, having been a babe of three years, still stuck to his eldest brother’s side against his nagging instincts. But he does remember the important things, like whose funeral it was (his great grandmother’s), and where it was held (on the south-west corner of their estate). Beyond that, everything about the occasion came to him in spurts of blurry mental pictures of the impassive faces of nearly all those present and the shrill, irksome, fake wailing of his mother._

_Later, Killua would learn that normal funerals were nothing like theirs, where everyone treated the ceremony like a chore and every single material object that can point to the dead person’s existence is burned into nothingness. It was strictly a Zoldyck thing. One of the many he just learned to live with._

_Before he could even speak properly, Killua had already known that passivity was expected of him. It was to be his default, as it was the default of all Zoldycks who came before him. His mother is an exception only because she had once been an outsider._

_Although she knows to keep such outbursts separate from their work, her upbringing prevents her from ever fully grasping certain truths within the family. First and foremost, the fact that even family itself is strictly business. It’s what made her obsession with him all the more insufferable. As Killua grew he came to understand this truth that his mother never could in the way that his grandfather treats his father._

_More than anything, more than even being father and son, Zeno and Silva are long time business partners. They have a great degree of respect for each other and the very fact that they are related; and at times, Silva would humor Zeno by doing things he would normally not do upon the latter’s request._

_But these were mere concessions to acknowledge their blood. Playacting, much like nearly all of their family relations._

_There had been no fatherly affection from Zeno to Silva, just as there would be no such affection from Silva to his children._

_This is ideal, Silva would tell them all_   _during training. Attachments are superfluous, a Zoldyck does not waste time with trivialities. Trivialities get in the way of business. Affection especially, was to be frowned upon. Ambition even more so, for they had but one destiny -- to become a bringer of death._

_Anything more or less was not unheard of, of course, but discouraged, as any and all of these emotions had the tendency to evolve into complications. They didn’t need any of that._

_Killua knew this well, and it was, in fact, always on the forefront of his mind more than any of his siblings’._

_For this reason he had known, from the very moment the infant Alluka had held his index finger in hers and adoration bubbled in his heart, that he would never be what everyone in his family hoped and expected him to be._

_He is, as it turns out, far too sentimental._

_And in their family profession, this is fatal. Killua’s brand of sentimentality especially. Emotions did not come to him the same way they did his mother, for often, Kikyo felt only half way. She was theatric, this was true, but she was never entirely genuine in anything but her fury (and as an assassin that is much more of an asset than a liability)._

_No, Killua’s emotions ran deep into his core. When Killua felt, he felt with every fiber of his being, and such a thing can be crippling to those of his profession._

_Of his elder relatives, only llumi has understood the true extent of his tendency to feel, and none but he learned to effectively take advantage of Killua’s fear and affection. Perhaps no one else ever will, for though Killua felt till his heart sank deep into his chest, he was a master of swallowing his feelings as though they had never existed, of pretending to be better than he actually was. He was so adept at it, he even fooled himself-- but never Illumi, which made him thus, at once, the worst and best person to handle Killua’s training. He would stop at nothing to eliminate the problem._

_Illumi Zoldyck was trained by no less than Silva and Zeno, and is an assassin truly worthy of the Zoldyck name. He is a master of disguise and terribly efficient. Illumi never wasted his energy. He is swift. He is precise. He is exceptionally good at making his kills look like an accident, but he is showy when the situation or client called for it. At the age of ten he’d become a favorite of rich families and politicians who did not want the world to know they’d hired a Zoldyck._

_He was a creature of darkness through and through, just as his father and grandfather taught him to be. And by the time Killua was born, he was a veteran worthy of all the elder Zoldycks’ respect._

_To become an assassin of such caliber, one had to know fear and pain better than anyone. One had to be in control of such things, not only to be able to effectively instill them on one’s targets but also to ignore and evoke one’s own fear at will. Fear, in moderation, is useful for breeding the caution necessary for their lifestyle. And Illumi knew Killua’s fears well-- he himself was in fact, probably one of Killua’s biggest. There was no one more fit to be Killua’s mentor._

_Silva had recognized this, and had thus, kept himself in the sidelines, leaving most of Killua’s training with Illumi._

_And under his tutelage, Killua’s growth was splendid. He was and is, possibly, the greatest genius ever to be born into the family. His potential was immeasurable; his skill, rapidly growing by the day. And above all it was clear from the darkness in his eyes that he was to be terrifying._

_Though far from having the same gravitas as the patriarchs before him, Killua looked to be well on his way. That he was the third son did not matter-- Silva, Kikyo, and Illumi all agreed that he would be the one true successor._

_In the course of Killua’s upbringing, however, Illumi and Silva made one miscalculation. Which, in retrospect, though they may loathe to admit, had been grave. By neglecting the training of the second brother Milluki, and allowing him to do whatever he wanted, they had inadvertently shown Killua what he was missing._

_To Killua, Milluki was an irksome existence, constantly acting hateful towards him because of one irrelevant thing or other. But he was also interesting (and satisfyingly fun to annoy)._

_While the rest of his family were often absent from the estate because of their work (himself included), Milluki stayed secluded in his room with his animé figures and computers. When it had occurred to Killua that this was strange, he had thought at first, that his older brother was similar to Alluka (who by then had already been confined to her bedroom). Soon after he realized, that this was not the case._

_Alluka was secluded because she had too much power, and she never had any say on the matter. Milluki, on the other hand, was secluded by choice._

“ _There’s more money in hacking.” Milluki had told him once, when Killua asked why he spent all his time on his computer instead of going on jobs. And Killua never doubted it. Milluki had various material obsessions to prove it._

 _Secretly, Killua had envied Milluki. Not because he could do whatever he wanted, but because he_ **wanted**   _. Killua knew he could feel because he cared for Alluka, feared Illumi, and found Milluki and his mother incredibly annoying-- but he had never found himself wanting anything enough to stop being an assassin._

_Except, he would later realize, the very feeling of want._

 

.

.

.

.

 

After he and Gon went their separate ways, everything was quiet. Killua was never the type to go looking for big trouble on his own, and Alluka – thank goodness–wasn't the type to accidentally stumble upon it. Quiet was good -- boring and dragging, but better than getting Alluka killed any day.

Excitement these days, often came in the form of the occasional calls from Gon – short conversations to catch up on each others' lives. He was unused to the uneventful life, but it felt like the freedom he'd long wanted for both Alluka and himself – routine,  _ **normal**_.

And then he gets the note.

The messenger hides his presence, but he gives Killua a light nearly unnoticeable tap on the wrist so he knows that whatever it is, is only meant for his eyes. The action startles Killua into alertness. He scans the vicinity for killing intent but finds none. It puts him on edge.

He keeps it in his pocket and waits for a moment where Alluka is thoroughly distracted before he takes a peek at its contents.

“ _Bullshit.”_  is his first thought as he reads the note.

“Your grandfather is dying,” it said “Come home”.

It was written in what was obviously his mother's handwriting – the annoyingly prim and proper script is unmistakeable – and for this reason, he distrusts it completely.

He takes a mental note to burn it before Alluka can see. He isn't sure how she'd react, but he knows he can't say no to her, not really, especially if she puts her mind to it. Better safe than sorry.

Now that he has Alluka with him the incentives of him going home have risen exponentially – at least for his parents (and Illumi). Kikyo must think its the perfect time to make a move now that Gon's occupied elsewhere. He doesn't know if his father told her about their promise, but it would explain the timing.

With no friend travel with, in Silva and Kikyo’s eyes, Killua had no real reason not to return home (Killua knew his family well enough to know that they cared little for what had happened the last time he had gone home, or at least, it would be irrelevant upon his return). The note is thus, obviously a trap.

“Big brother look!” Alluka calls, bringing him out of his thoughts “Do you think you could buy that thing over there for me?”

“Do you even know what that thing  _ **is**_?” Killua walks up to her, nose scrunched at the sight of what she’s pointing at -- a hideous looking reddish brown pot, with no apparent practical purpose.

“No.” she admits “But doesn't it look interesting?”

He rolls his eyes, but he can’t help the affectionate look on his face when he tells her “I don't want to buy you another thing which you'll get tired of in a day.”

Alluka pouts “Oh, but this is different!”

“No Alluka, you can't just –“

“Please!”

Killua's right eye twitches, she’s looking at him wide-eyed and pleading, with her lower lip jutted out just enough to make her look ridiculously cute and… dammit, there’s no way he can say no to her when she’s being like this.

“ _ **Fine**._ ” he relents, pulling out some money to pay for the goddamn pot.

And as Alluka cheers and calls him the best older brother ever, Killua thinks that there is  _ **definitely**_  no way he could tell her about the note.

.

.

.

.

A week later another messenger comes his way, this time bearing a smaller piece of paper than the last, on which, there were only two words in the rough print of his father: “come home”.

.

.

.

.

 

There are few people in the world Killua will admit to both caring for and respecting. Alluka and Gon, first and foremost, there's also Ikalgo, Biske, Kurapika, and,  _alright_ , Leorio, to name a few others. It's a pretty short list of people that he has sworn to himself (and to his father, that day he left the estate), he would never betray.

Among his family members (sans Alluka) his grandfather comes closest to being on the list.

Zeno had always been... well,  _ **sane**_ , for the lack of a better way to put it. A reprieve from all the crazy that was their so-called family. Zeno does not take pleasure in killing, as Killua supposed his father and Illumi do on some level. It is to him, simply his job. He did not kill innocents, he made sure of it. In a curious way Zeno Zoldyck is a man of honor. And Killua truly respected this. Finding out his grandfather had been on good terms (even  _friends_ of a fashion) with Chairman Netero only increased this feeling.

Killua is however, unsure if this should be enough reason for him to return to Kukuroo Mountain, and more importantly, that it should be enough reason to risk bringing Alluka back anywhere near the vicinity of it. He considers returning alone.

 _"But then where would I leave Alluka?"_ he wonders. And his first thought is Gon.

There is nobody on this earth that he could trust more. Gon kept his promises, he would take care of Alluka. But, Killua thinks, he's with his father now, it's difficult to reach him where he is, and even if it wasn't, Killua's not sure Gon could keep himself (and consequently Alluka) out of trouble. Trouble tended to gravitate towards him, it wasn't the safest place to be.

The next option he considers is Kurapika, but he throws the idea out of the window quickly– firstly he’s not sure Kurapika would pick up if he called, he always seemed incredibly busy these days. Aside from that, Kurapika's revenge crusade against the Phantom Troupe was on-going, he was willingly putting himself in danger, and though he was more than capable of protecting other people, Killua has witnessed first hand how much rage could blind Kurapika. Best not to risk it.

Leorio was out of the question, Killua knew he would be more than willing and that he wasn’t a bad choice because nobody would expect that Alluka would be with him of all people, but Killua didn’t want to bother Leorio at such an important time (if he remembers right, the licensure exam for doctors was happening very soon).

“ _Palm maybe?_ ” he thinks, but then shakes his head. They were on good terms, and he would trust her with his life and more, but Palm is too mobile, as was Ikalgo and nearly everyone else Killua trusted. He’d really prefer someone who lives in a secluded area unknown to nearly all of humanity, and who would be willing to remain stationary for long periods of time. It was less risky taking into account the methods of his family.

So that leaves him with..... well, very few alternatives.

“ _This is troublesome.”_ Killua thinks  _“It’s probably a lie anyway why do I even bother.”_

If Zeno truly was dying, Killua knows he might regret a little, not being able to pay his respects before he passed away. He also knows, that he will regret not finding out what (or who) can kill such a seasoned fighter. If his great great grandfather Maha was any indication, old age shouldn’t be catching up to Zeno anytime soon. So then, how could he be dying? Is there an enemy strong enough to take him down, if so, should the rest of them be wary of this enemy?

As far as Killua knew only one target has successfully struck back and killed a Zoldyck in the entire history of their family. It was already a rare occurrence for targets to have the opportunity to retaliate, but to be able to kill one of their own would normally be unthinkable. After all, Zoldycks never took on jobs they weren’t one hundred percent sure they could finish.

It happened at least two centuries before Killua was even born, and there are, of course, no written records of it. The way Illumi had told the story, their ancestor died due to his own carelessness, his target was not particularly powerful at all. Killua knows now that that story is likely only a half truth, not only because of Illumi’s tricky nature and tendency to tell Killua only what will influence him in ways he approves of, but also because of how very unlikely it is that someone in their family would ever be so careless.

However, setting that aside, the only truth that really matters is that one of them had been killed by a target once upon a time. The moral of the story at it’s base, is that they are not infallible, and that they should never think they are. Killua should therefore, think it a possibility that Zeno Zoldyck was in fact, dying.

The intrigue of it all made him itch.

Curiosity killed the cat, or so they always say, but so did lack of ample knowledge. The note was most certainly a trap, but it could also be a ticket to knowing more about a new threat. There was more sense to staying put than returning to their family home, yet Killua wondered still, if there isn't any merit to paying his grandfather a visit.

He decides that to wait for his parents’ next move. If he’s convinced his grandfather truly is unwell he’ll consider dropping by to pay his respects. He’d rather have no regrets. (And in the meantime, he really needs to figure out who to leave Alluka with).

.

.

.

.

.

 

Over the week Killua had weighed the pros and cons of returning, and had decided, it would probably be better not to return. Intellectually, at least, this is the conclusion he had come to, but nagging curiosity and lingering attachment to one of his only sane relatives compelled him to make preparations despite knowing the better choice. And so, by the time his parents make their next move, Killua is already alone.

Not too surprisingly, said next move is to send Canary to him-- a smart decision, considering Canary is the only family butler left who Killua trusts enough to tell him the truth. If Canary says with certainty his grandfather is dying, he had little reason to doubt her.

He’s glad he was a little bit foolish, because the way Canary had broken the news piqued his interest in a way that wasn’t very good.

“He seems sick.” she had said slowly, sounding almost unsure; though her emotionless face showed little of what her tone implies.

Zeno is dying, this is probably true, but if the circumstances are confusing enough that it warrants Canary’s tone (and the use of the word “seems” for that matter), the situation must not be so simple. If there is foul play going on inside the family, Killua felt now that he  _ **must**_  return home, as it possibly meant impending danger for himself, and, more likely (and more importantly) Alluka.

She was in a safe place now, but he knew that eventually, even if it took years, they’d find a way to get to her (it is not, after all, unusual for any of them to work with little to no leads on the location of their target). And if he just continued on his journey with her, the risks were even higher as mobility increased sightings, and more witnesses meant more leads. Killua had no illusions of ever outrunning any of them.

“ _I hope I don’t regret this”_ he thinks, as he agrees to going back with Canary to Kukuroo Mountain.

Canary seems both surprised and thankful at his ascent, “Where is Mistress Alluka?” she asks cautiously.

Despite the question, Killua can’t help but feel more fond of her. Most of their servants insisted on referring to Alluka as a boy; a lot of them did not care to be considerate, but Canary always did (and she was not nearly as annoying as any of the senior butlers, if she was ever annoying at all).

“Somewhere safe.” Killua said with a small smile “I’m sorry but I can’t tell you.”

Canary is honest, but that is precisely why Killua doesn’t know if he can trust her with this secret. Especially since it wasn’t only his to keep.

Once he’d figured out who to leave Alluka with, he wondered why he didn’t think of him immediately. There was really nowhere more removed from the world at large than what had been the house of the Ant King's sister (the existence of whom was one of the Hunter Association’s best kept secrets). He had called Morel asking for a favor, requesting that someone discreetly transport Alluka to the location, and telling him to call when she was safely in Colt's custody.

As was to be expected of a one star Hunter, Morel had done the favor as covertly as possible, asking little about what Killua was intending to do. When he calls to confirm Allluka’s safety, Morel goes as far as to avoid touching upon their transaction completely, letting the call itself imply what he knew it would to Killua. Gon could really learn a thing a two from him about discreteness.

Morel had chattered on about a dangerous creature endemic to Killua’s general location, pretending that he’d asked for such information. He’d lazily but dutifully detailed the habits of the specie while Killua listened with half a mind, finding himself mildly interested but mostly just bored of the excessive (though probably necessary) babble.

“I’d be careful if I were you.” Morel had said before their goodbyes, sounding serious for the first time in their conversation.

Killua appreciated the thought, but appreciated the non-interference even more.

 

.

.

.

.

 

The trip back to Kukuroo Mountain is uneventful aside from Canary’s ominous silence and nervous glances. Killua lets it be for most of the trip, not wanting to add to her discomfort, but as they near the Testing Gate he decides, that perhaps it might do him good to try asking once. 

He stops walking just before the gate is in sight. Canary's footsteps cease immediately after his, to the untrained eye it might have looked like they stopped simultaneously. He turns around to look her and tilts his head slightly to one side, furrowing his eyebrows in concern. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

Canary opens her mouth, and her entire body grows stiff. She stays like that for a few seconds. It seemed to Killua that she desperately wants to say something, but is unsure if she should.

“Canary.” says Killua, demanding, but not angry.

At the sound of her name, Canary seemed to reflexively stand straighter. 

“You can be honest with me.” he says firmly “If there’s anything I need to know, you should tell me now while Zebro can't see us.”

Canary shakes her head “I know nothing except for what I’ve seen with my own two eyes, and heard with my own two ears.” she says, carefully choosing her words “Master Zeno is unwell, and I’ve been asked to escort you home.”

She holds Killua’s gaze, a hopeful gleam in her eyes, as if begging him to understand from what little she was allowed to say. And he did understand, all to clearly in fact.

It was a warning: once he enters the estate there was a significant possibility that he may never leave. At least, not with the same freedom he’d had before.

Canary’s limited knowledge seemed so precisely catered to the task of convincing him to return. She knew nothing more than was necessary, and nothing less. Thus, she knew nothing to suggest ill intent on the part of any members of the family, except for the very fact that she was kept in the dark about certain things which are important, such as the manner of illness his grandfather had.

“I see.” he says disinterestedly.

Canary’s face falls in disappointment. She bows her head and presses her lips together, eyes shut tight.

“I guess this means we don’t have to worry about anything.” Killua puts a hand on her shoulder, and hopes it feels reassuring.

Canary lifts up her head to look at him, eyeing him like he’s hopeless, and smiles “I suppose”.

Killua smiles back at her before turning around to continue their trek. The Testing Gate is within sight in a few minutes despite their leisurely pace. Zebro stands before it, looking uncharacteristically grave.

“It’s good to have you back Master Killua.” he says when Killua is nearly in front of him. But unlike his usual greetings which are often genuinely happy, the Zebro before him now seems disgruntled.

“I heard grandfather is sick.” Killua says it hesitantly, almost like a question, his face schooled into an impassive look. He knows Zebro and Canary can tell it’s a test, not only of Zebro but of the atmosphere inside the estate.

Zebro never knew much of what was going on inside the house, but his interactions with the head butler were more than enough to inform him of the general feel of things.

“I’m afraid so.” Zebro nodded “Strange because Master Zeno had easily opened all seven doors when he returned from his last mission, sickness does have an uncanny way of creeping up on people sometimes”

The blatant hint at suspicions of funny business surprises Killua. He doubts anyone is really listening right now but he admires the old man’s tenacity.

“That _is_  strange.” Killua acknowledges as he regards the Testing Gate. He debates whether he should just open his usual five, or go for all seven and make a showy entrance. It was tempting.

Although they wouldn’t underestimate him just because he doesn’t open more doors than he used to; it was probably in his best interests to show them he wasn’t going to be a pushover.

“ _I won’t even use nen.”_ Killua thinks  _“That should send the message through.”_

He puts his hands on the doors, lightly at first, as he takes a deep breath. And then, he pushes.

The seven doors open effortlessly, and Zebro’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, he even claps as Killua and Canary walk into the estate. He hardly thinks any of his family would be as impressed, but he hopes that they would at least consider it a warning.

Feeling the nen of the members of his family flare from different points in the estate, he whispers to himself, “I’m back”.

.

.

.

.

 

Predictably the first person to greet him when he enters the mansion is his mother.

“Kil!” Kikyo launches herself at him as she screams that now somewhat annoying childhood nickname of his.

She seems overjoyed at the sight of him as usual. Her face is flushed and beaming with what almost looks like ecstasy, Killua notes with a shudder. Far too much joy in her for the circumstances behind his return, that was for sure.

“Mother.” he says curtly as he side steps her attempt at a hug.

“Ah, the way you’re cold to me is wonderful as always.” Kikyo straightens her posture and fans herself as if she’s overheating.

If he could see her eyes Killua bets she’d be looking him in that sickeningly sweet way of hers. He’s glad he took care of them when he had the chance. He knows it’ll piss her off more if he were actually  _ **nice**_ to her, and that everything he’s done to hurt her has done nothing but make her happy, but he just can’t stomach the idea of actually being kind to Kikyo. He would rather she get her twisted happiness than even pretend to have an ounce of affection for her. She was insane, and not in any good way. Killua didn’t know what his father saw in her.

It’s true that he could just be biased -- he doesn’t see many sides of Kikyo beside “obsessive controlling mother” after all. He doesn’t see the sides of her that doesn’t involve suffocating him with her so called love and attempting to hurt his friends or his little sister. Maybe somewhere beneath all that there was something to like about her. Maybe it was even _ **because**_  of that, that Silva liked her. Killua actually hopes he never finds out.

“Where’s grandfather?” he asks flatly, looking away and trying to look as uninterested in her as possible. The question is unnecessary, as Killua could sense where Zeno is, but he hopes something in his mother’s answer will reveal her true intentions.

Kikyo stops fanning herself, folds the fan and holds it tightly between her hands “He’s in his room.” she says, surprisingly terse “After you’ve finished visiting him, your father wants to see you.”

Killua is taken aback by her sudden change in demeanor. He studies the set of her jaw for a moment, tight, rigid, and as far as he knows, incredibly out of character. He’s rarely witnessed this side of his mother, and it confirms what he suspected.

She’s hiding something.

.

.

.

.

.

 

Zeno, like Silva, has his own private quarters separate from the bedroom he shares with his wife. Unlike Silva, his room is sparsely decorated, there is very little here of the morbid grandeur present in every other room of the Zoldyck mansion. The room is a little bit brighter than most as well, with all the furniture lined with gold, and the floor, covered with impeccably clean red carpet.

There’s a plush red couch sitting in the very back of the room, and a large black cloth with a golden dragon embroidered onto it hanging on the right wall. At the center of the room sits short tea table with fluffy red cushions around it. Killua has many memories of his grandfather sitting by the table sipping his tea from cups he brings home from his jobs. Occasionally (very rarely) he is joined by someone else in the family. Killua himself, has only ever drunk tea with him once.

Zeno was seldom a chatty man. While at home, he would often talk only when talked to, or when giving orders. Killua on his part, never knew where to start asking questions, and which questions not to ask when it came to his grandfather. And so when he was young, he’d make conscious efforts to avoid the awkwardness altogether. The memory makes Killua dread somewhat, meeting with his grandfather. He came home, in part, to give his respect, but the closer he gets to his grandfather’s room, the more clueless he gets as to how he ought to do that.

“ _Just being here is enough of a show of respect, grandfather knows how significant it is that I’d even return.”_ he thinks to reassure himself, before taking a deep breath and knocking on Zeno’s door.

Killua hears the faint sound of his grandfather’s voice though it is unclear what he is saying, after taking a moment to decipher the words, and failing, Killua decides it was likely just his cue to open the door.

He’s not too surprised to find that Zeno isn’t alone. He’s having tea with Kalluto, who, upon Killua's entry, immediately turns to him, nodding once before turning back to his tea. Zeno on the other hand, pays him no mind. He has dark bags under his eyes, Killua notes, and his face is slightly green in color. His posture however, slumped with old age but still dignified and regal, betrayed no illness. If it weren’t for his color Killua would have been unable to tell that anything was wrong.

“I can guess why you’re here.” Zeno says after a moment, sounding a little annoyed, his voice soft and gravelly.

“ _There’s something wrong with it.”_ Killua realizes  _“It’s like he can barely talk”._

“That son of mine and his wife have made a big deal over nothing.” Zeno snorts “Sit.”

Slowly, Killua makes his way to the space next to Kalluto. His eyes never leave his grandfather as he does so. “So you’re not dying?” he asks cautiously.

Zeno shakes his head “No, that part is true, but it is only for the moment. I’m thinking of it like the training I received when I was a boy.”

Killua supposes he means torture training. Which narrowed down the list of possible reasons for his condition.

“Poison?” he asks, eyebrow raised.

“A new variation,” Zeno nods “I did not think my age would show now and in such a ridiculous manner. To think there now exists a poison I am not immune to.”

“None of us are immune to it, if that’s the case.” Killua frowns “Is this the reason they’re calling us all back? To immunize us?"

To Killua’s surprise, Zeno laughs. It sounds raspy and broken, but it is, undoubtedly, a laugh. Embarrassingly, Killua finds himself flinching before he can help it; eyes widening slightly, hands clenched on the edge of the table. Beside him Kalluto is impassively drinking his tea, as if he were used to seeing their grandfather show any emotion.

“That son of mine.” Zeno shakes his head, then looks at Killua and says, with amusement in his voice, “Your father seems to have finally become aware of his own mortality, and  _ **yours**_ as well".

“Mine?”

“Yes yours.” he sighs “He has five sons and he’s afraid no one will inherit the role of patriarch, ridiculous.”

Killua frowns “Four sons, one daughter”

Zeno waves a hand “Trivial details. He has five children, no shortage of heirs, and he panics because he finds out there’s an easy way to kill him. Ridiculous.”

Killua can’t imagine his father panicking for something like this. There must be more to it. It’s unlike him. Zeno should know this, and the fact that he’s acting like he doesn’t makes Killua unsure if he can trust his grandfather all that much right now. He’s uncharacteristically chatty for one.

Is it a side effect of his body weakening? Is he subconsciously fearing his  _ **own**_ mortality? Or is he in on a plot to guilt trip Killua into returning to the assassin business? It could be any of those, for all Killua knew.

Zeno tries to pour more tea for himself but finds the teapot empty. He grunts, frowning at the thing, and then stands up with the support of the table. The teapot in hand, he heads for the corner of the room where there seems to be a large kettle of hot water and a can of tea leaves.

“There is no cure.” Kalluto whispers, loud enough for only Killua to hear.

He shifts slightly in his seat to get a better look of Kalluto’s face, which, as usual, looks deadly serious. He couldn’t get a proper read of him, but it wasn’t as if he had a reason to lie either. Killua didn’t really know what to make of the situation.

“H-How’s grandmother?” he mentally berates himself for stuttering and showing his shock.

“Fine.” Zeno says, walking back to his seat “The same as she’s always been, nothing can kill that woman.”

“That’s good,” Killua says, nodding slowly “And when do you think you’ll stop dying?”

Zeno’s hand stops midway from the table and his mouth, cup tightly in his grasp, he slowly looks up at Killua, and scoffs when his gaze falls on his face.

“When my body becomes immune,” he says “or when I’m dead.”

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“You wanted to see me?” Killua bows his head slightly, knowing full well that he looks ridiculous being meek now when he’d been so overbearing before. Gon’s life had been on the line then, he had little time to be afraid of other things aside from his best friend dying.

He’s not precisely afraid of his father, but he thinks it might be best to be cautious for now.

Silva looks much like he did the day he’d left the estate to travel with Gon, that is, pensive and unreadable. His right arm is propped up and his head is resting on his fist. His other arm rests on his thigh, slack except for his hand that’s slowly opening and closing.

“You’ve been to see your grandfather?”

Killua just looks at him expectantly, remaining silent.

“I’d like for you to stay here until we know what his fate will be.” it sounds like a command, one which Killua won’t be given the option to refuse.

“I’ll be leaving as soon as he’s not dying.” he says firmly, keeping his gaze level and sharp, though his head is still slightly bowed.

“It’s your choice” Silva replies simply, face and voice unreadable.

Killua stares at him for a moment more, mostly to emphasize his point. He won’t be giving anyone an option to refuse him either.

“I’ll be in my room.” he says, turning to leave, but then, remembering something, stops at the door “Is big brother back yet?”

“Illumi? Who knows, that boy comes and goes as he pleases.” Silva grunts “But with you here, he’ll probably listen to us and return soon.”

“I see.” Killua says, before exiting the room and closing the door behind him.

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Once he’s alone in his room, Killua gathers his thoughts. Today he’s learned a few important things: one, his grandfather is indeed dying; two, it’s not one hundred percent sure that he’ll die but the poison he ingested has no antidote; three, the situation was grave enough that both his grandfather and father were panicking however slightly; four,  _ **all**_ of them who’d been away were called back; and lastly, his mother is hiding something.

The probable impending death of his grandfather aside, the situation was too good to be true. So far, aside from his mother’s suspicious behavior (which, in view of her nature was not completely abnormal), there was nothing alarming enough to warrant Zebro and Canary’s concern.

“ _Maybe the way it all fits together should be alarming,”_  Killua considers,  _“Is that being too paranoid?”_

He plops down onto his bed, pulling at his hair and growling in frustration. “You just never know with these people, I fucking hate this” he mutters.

For the first time since he’s arrived in the estate, Killua wonders what Gon would think of all this. Would he want to hit him for being stupid enough to return? Scream at him for not asking for his help? Neither of those sounded right. He’d have probably have nonchalantly offered to come along.

“ _No, he’d invite himself along whether or not I wanted him to.”_  Killua thinks to himself, grin on his face.

A chuckle bubbles from deep within his chest, and suddenly Killua is laughing himself silly. Gon would have been ridiculous, he would have probably come along when Killua met with his father. He’d probably have slapped away Kikyo for him when they entered the mansion. Heck, he’d have probably charmed the pants off his grandfather and made friends with Kalluto. It wasn’t beyond him. Killua could easily see all that happening.

He laughs so hard that his stomach hurts and tears start forming in his eyes.

“ _I miss him.”_  he thinks, and the thought is like a punch to the gut. It’s not the first time he’s said it to himself since he and Gon had parted ways, but it’s still painful every time.

He sits up and grabs his cellphone from his pocket.

“I could call him.” he says aloud “I could.”

His index finger lingers over the button for Gon’s speed dial. He knows Gon wouldn’t mind him calling (he’d be ecstatic, really), but ever since they’d separated he’s never been able to make himself be the one to initiate a call. He’s aware that it’s against everything he knows about Gon, but every time he thinks about calling him he feels as if he wouldn’t be welcome.

Gon’s found his father, and a grand new adventure. Gon had said that it wouldn’t be the same without him, that he couldn't without him, but Killua knew then, and knows now, that he’d manage. Gon loved his friends with all his heart and his loyalty know no bounds, but he doesn’t really need to be around them all the time. He was always occupied with one thing or other, but when you saw him again it was as if no time had passed.

Their occasional calls were awkward to Killua, but he knew it was mostly just because of his own feelings. Gon was the kind of guy who kept friends whenever he made them. He’d never be awkward about these things.

He smiled to himself, the memory of Gon gave him such complicated feelings -- profound happiness and sadness all at the same time. He knew that he couldn’t have gone with Gon to such dangerous places, not with Alluka around. So he had no regrets.

Still, he missed him.

“ _He’d want to know I’m back here.”_ Killua thinks, after all Gon had gone through all the trouble of breaking him out  _“If he finds out from someone else I might wake up one day to find the Testing Gate destroyed and Mike dead, or worse”_.

He sighs, pressing the button finally, puts his phone by his ear and waits as Gon’s own phone rings.

“Killua!” Gon says cheerfully when he picks up “You called!”

“Yeah uhm,” Killua laughs nervously “I just wanted to tell you I’m back in Kukuroo Mountain, temporarily I hope.”

He’s met with silence. Killua’s almost afraid that Gon has dropped everything then and there to start running for Padokia.

Then, after a beat, Gon asks, voice low and serious: “Should I go there and help you out?”

Killua smiles,  _“He never changes.”_ he thinks, then chuckles lightly and says “No it’s fine, I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?” Gon sounds worried, and strangely enough it makes Killua feel better somehow.

“Yeah,” he says turning to his side, phone pressed between his ear and the mattress “I’m sure.”

Gon pauses for a moment, and all Killua can hear is his breathing. He wonders why Gon is somewhere without any background noise. How unusual.

“Well alright then…” Gon says finally, sounding reluctant about letting the topic go.

“I’m fine Gon.” Killua assures, pressing his ear closer to the speaker to better hear Gon’s voice “What about you? How goes the uncharted territories?”

“I’m not sure,” Gon says vaguely “Ging’s surprisingly a very serious explorer. The other day he...”

Gon’s voice trails off in Killua’s mind as he sleepily listens to him chatter on about his adventures and his father. Letting his voice lull him further, Killua closes his eyes, and smiles.

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To say that Illumi is friends with Hisoka would be inaccurate. For one thing, the word friend was not in Illumi’s vocabulary. He didn’t allow it to be. Friend was a word for other people; so no, he isn’t friends with Hisoka. The truth is much simpler than that, and the truth is that they just kept stumbling upon each other so much that Illumi felt the need to at least say hi.

He’s never come to regret the decision so far. Hisoka turns out to be a great regular client who gives great jobs and great pay, and a conveniently powerful ally whose help is easily obtained when needed with the simple promise of meeting strong people.

Beyond that, he was fascinating, his thought process was unique and highly educational for one of Illumi’s profession. Hisoka was a rare specimen of an absolute convergence between id and ego. While Illumi was sure he was not inferior in any sort of way when it came to fighting prowess, Hisoka’s ability to feel excessively and stay perfectly in control made the latter a more interesting fighter. Illumi had no desire to be interesting in the same way, but he had to admit that Hisoka’s affairs always left him mildly curious.

It’s why Illumi doesn’t mind Hisoka’s company, nor does he mind doing him favors for free on occasion. A chance to closely observe Hisoka’s madness was at times, payment enough at any rate.

Around the time of Killua’s arrival at Kukuroo Mountain, Illumi is with Hisoka, who, instinctively thinking the person approaching him from behind was about to attack him, unknowingly kills Kikyo and Silva’s messenger.

“Oh, oops.” he says, as he inspects his blood stained hand “That’s what you get for trying to sneak up on me I suppose”. 

“I think he was trying to give us something.” Illumi notes absently, as he kicks the body to turn it over.

“Oh?” Hisoka crouches down, and inspects the man’s clenched right hand “Oh you’re right, there’s a tiny piece of paper here. It’s unreadable now though, with all the blood” He bounces on his heels to stand up. “Poor guy.” Hisoka says, sounding like he doesn’t mean that at all, massive smirk on his face. He gives the body one more look before turning to Illumi. “Did it seem important?”

“I guess we’ll never know.” Illumi shrugs “Didn’t you say you have a job for me?”

Hisoka smiles, wordlessly pulling out a piece of paper from his own pants before handing it to Illumi.

“I’ll expect a tip.” Illumi says promptly before disappearing.

 

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Killua wakes up that morning in a panic thinking the sun is in his eyes, knowing that such a thing shouldn’t be possible in their windowless mansion. He sits up in attention, eyes wide, clutching onto his covers as he slowly assess his surroundings.

He’s still in his room, good. He relaxes his clenched fists and looks up to the ceiling to find he’d left his bedroom light on.

“ _That explains the ‘sun’.”_  he thinks, huffing.

He reaches for his cellphone beside his pillow to check the time.  _“Nine in the morning huh...pretty early for me.”_

Killua jumps out of bed and stretches his arms out over his head. He considers eating breakfast but quickly dismisses the thought, knowing his mother will be there in the dining room. That’s a conversation he would rather avoid. It was enough that she was annoying but now she was also hiding something. Killua would rather he was better informed before he faced either of his parents again.

Kalluto and Milluki are probably useless for recon, seeing as they actually love Kikyo. Killua had a hard time seeing either of them going against their mother’s wishes. The butlers were a good bet, but tricky. He was sure of Canary being on his side but the rest of them had varying loyalties. Since most of them favored Silva and Kikyo, Killua gathered he was in a pretty difficult situation. His best bets are the neutrals in this situation, those few who are biased towards Illumi, and the older butlers, who held his grandfather at the highest esteem.

“ _I should check if big brother is home though.”_ he thinks, because there’s a large chance he won’t get anything out of the butlers biased towards Illumi if he was already home.

Killua pockets his cellphone and room key, then goes out into the hallway, locking his bedroom door behind him. One of their phones is just a few steps from his room, and he can’t feel anyone’s presence nearby. He’s not worried about anyone hearing him, what he’s about to ask is innocent enough anyway.

He dials the number to Zebro’s work station.

“Good morning.” Zebro says stiffly after he picks up.

“It’s me, just wanted to check if big brother’s home yet.”

“Master Killua! Good morning!” Zebro says, sounding genuinely delighted “Master Illumi has not come to the gate just yet, would you like me to call you when he does?”

“No, that’s ok.” Killua pauses “Wait, on second thought, you should do that. Call the butler’s house though, ask for Canary.”

“Understood.” Zebro replies.

Killua thanks him and hangs up. He lingers in front of the telephone for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, thinking on what he will tell the butlers carefully.

“ _So troublesome,”_ he grunts  _"Alluka"_ he reminds himself  _"I'm doing this for Alluka"--_ so she'll be safe.

 

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As Killua walks to the Butlers’ house, he runs through what he knows in his head once more: his grandfather is dying, it’s poison, he did not seem to be dying when he opened the testing gates, his mother is hiding something, his father thinks the situation to be grave enough to call back even Illumi (that or there’s something big that Killua is missing).

Logically, the first issue he should address is the delay in the showing of his grandfather’s symptoms. Is the poison simply that slow acting or was it administered after he entered the estate? The answer to the question was crucial to whether or not Killua was to take any further steps within the estate.

If the former is true then Zeno was poisoned during a job-- Killua therefore, has no foul play to fear, no possible plots against himself and Alluka. The fact that his mother was hiding something would be as good as moot, because in such case, Killua would leave the estate immediately and whatever she has planned for him would not come to pass. Additionally, if it was an outsider who did it, Killua was in less trouble than his family. His movements are less predictable, since he never needs to be at a set place at a set time, as the rest of them did during their work. If anyone had been following him and Alluka prior to now, they would have found that both of them have seemingly disappeared from the face of the earth. It was simply a matter of covering their tracks for all their journeys thereafter.

 _ **But**_  if the latter is true then he's in trouble, the kind he may not be able to escape from.

His gut tells him it’s nothing, especially since Illumi doesn’t seem to be involved. But the thought that it could be something nags at the back of his mind.

Whatever the case, it was best if he got a better grasp of the situation.

Gotoh answer’s the door even before Killua reaches the front steps of the Butler’s house. When he greets him Killua is immediately uncomfortable.

There’s something off about him. Though he can’t put his finger on it. He finds himself worried suddenly and doubting whether or not he should actually have gone here. Well, he thinks, no going back now.

“Where’s Canary?” Killua asks, trying to keep his face unreadable.

“One moment.” Gotoh says, before disappearing into one of the hallways.

Killua finds the tone of his voice off putting still. What distresses him most, is not that it sounded like he was hiding something, in fact his voice was neutral, almost welcoming. No, what bothers him most is his voice sounds wrong, almost  _unfamiliar_  somehow.

The anxiety doesn’t leave him even after Canary arrives. He’s gaining more questions than answers.

“Good morning Master Killua.” Canary bows, then smiles as she stands back up in attention “How may I help you?”

He smiles back “I need to talk to you alone for a moment, can we step out?”

“Of course.” she says. Killua looks behind her at Gotoh, who hasn’t reacted to their exchange of words in the least.

“ _That’s more suspicious than not.”_ Killua thinks, especially considering the weirdness he sensed earlier. He leads Canary somewhere not too far off, but far enough from both the main mansion, and the butler’s quarters.

“I need you to ask some questions for me.” he says, back turned to her, cracking his knuckles, and studying them intently. Canary doesn’t say anything in reply immediately, so he continues “I need to know what’s going on in the mansion right now, and I don’t trust anyone there to tell me the truth. We have many butlers, and we both know not all of them are partial to my parents.”

He turns to her then, looking her straight in the eyes “Will you do this for me?”

“Of course.” Canary replies immediately, not a shred of doubt in her voice.

Killua smiles, he hopes she can see how grateful he is. “I’ll be visiting Mike around this time tomorrow, but if Zebro gives you call before that come straight to me.”

Canary nods “Understood.”

 

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“ _You will hear many people say that when you kill a person, there is no going back. As if the act of taking another person’s life is the end of one’s humanity altogether. But that is not true, humanity is not so simple. Humanity is not all compassion. There is ugliness in humanity, you will learn this once you are old enough to go out for jobs. Listen to me Killua, when you go out there you will hear people say that when you kill a person, they become a part of you. That you will never forget them and the memory of them will haunt your soul and you will never be the same again. You will rot from the inside because of your act. But the truth is, when you kill a person he or she need not become a part of you, in fact they shouldn’t. You shouldn’t think that there is nothing that could justify killing a person. There always is. Humankind tends to put too much value in their own existence, as if we are the center of the universe. But in reality isn’t it no different from killing a cow? No, don’t speak. This is the truth, and you must accept it. Humankind is no different from every other living creature on this earth. When you go for your first kill think of that, do not let the hubris of humanity overwhelm you. We are not so important. Some people need to die, and our family has always been there to aid that cause. Death is a part of life Killua, even if your prey cannot accept it,_ **you** _must do so. That is what you were born to do.”_

“ _Do not be mistaken, I do not want you to be one of those sorts who take pleasure in taking a life. Those sorts who indiscriminately take like for the fun of it. It’s distasteful, the act of serial killers. Criminals. You are above that. We are above that. When you finish your first job you will never be the same, do not doubt that. But it will not be in the way that you expect. You may not even notice it. In fact if you don’t notice it all the better, that means your brother and I would have done right by your training. You seem excited, and this is good. But do not get ahead of yourself, do not let the thrill of the job consume you. You must moderate yourself at all times. Use your emotions, do not let them use you. Don’t look at me like that. I know you want to talk about your mother but don’t. She is different. She is not you. I don’t expect of her what I expect of you. What I expect of you is what I expect of myself, no, greater than that. When you go out there I need you to remember that. I need you to remember that you are a Zoldyck, that you are my son. I think that sometimes your brothers forget this. Do not make the same mistake, you must be greater than everyone who came before you Killua. You_ **will** _be, we shall make sure of that.”_

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua makes some leaps of logic, and continues to investigate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I'm not so happy with this chapter haha. I don't know what it is, is it the way it's written, the nagging feeling that facts/logic I didn't intent to be inconsistent are inconsistent.... Anyway, I'll probably edit it again some time like I did the first chapter, changing some details slightly. 
> 
> I'm sorry if I update slowly. I've been busy both with life and my other on-going fics. I won't abandon this fic, I'll just be slow, sorry.

“ _One of the most important things to remember when planning for a covert job is opportunity.”_

_Four year old Killua sits with his back straight, listening with rapt attention, clinging to every word that leaves his elder brother’s mouth. It is an act. In reality he could care no less. Anything, he thinks, is more interesting than this. He listens anyway, only because he is afraid. There is no telling what Illumi could do to him._

“ _Clients with old money or political power don’t like making it obvious that they’ve hired assassins to kill their enemies. It’s important to think about killing them in a situation and manner where several people would have had the opportunity to do the same. If on the other hand, the client_ **wants** _people to know they’ve hired an assassin, it’s important to kill the target in a situation where no one else_ **but** _an assassin would have had the opportunity. ”_

“ _What about motive?”_

“ _Motive isn’t important, most countries don’t care about motive in their criminal investigations. And in any case it would be far too much of a hassle to fabricate a motive. More trouble than it’s worth, it could even get you caught.”_

“ _But why be so careful?” Killua frowns “Father and grandfather never are.”_

“ _Father and grandfather are assassins of a different time.”_

_Illumi's tone is devoid of any hint of annoyance. It emboldens Killua to press on._

“ _What does that mean?”_ _he asks, hoping he doesn't sound as frustrated as he feels._

“ _It means they are stuff of legends,”_ _replies Illumi “_ _and people are far too afraid of them to treat them differently.”_

 _Killua'_ _s frown deepens, he does not understand it. Assassins of a different time? They are alive now, and still active._ _It was not as if any of them were any less of an enigma to the outside world either._

“ _Father and grandfather will never be underestimated in the same way the rest of us_ _might_ _,” says Illumi, seemingly reading Killua's thoughts “_ _we are not quite as intimidating on sight_ _for one, neither do we have reputations that would precede us the way theirs do,_ _and lastly,_ _neither you nor I are quite at the level where we can be assured no one can kill us._ _”_

“ _Do you think we will ever be?”_

“ _We must keep to our training._ _I can't say more than that.”_

 _K_ _illua nods, unsatisfied, but convinced he will not get any more out of his brother._ _A loud smack coming less than two meters from him causes him to look up. Illumi is brandishing a whip._

“ _Shall we continue?”_ _asks_ _his elder brother,_ _as though he were actually inquiring._

_H_ _earing it for the command that it is, Killua gulps._

“ _Yes.”_

_._

_._

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“Nobody knows how Master Zeno got sick." Canary speaks as if reading a script, obviously practiced-- stiff, formal. "If they do, they are not willing to tell me.”

If she had any good news he knows she’d show a little more emotion than this, at least a bit of a twinkle in her eyes for having discovered something worth telling. Her rigid delivery, Killua thinks, does not bode well.

“I can now say with certainty however,” Canary continues “that there did not seem to be anything wrong until at least a day after he returned from his job. I could not get too many details on what his job had been, but it seems that he had gone to a place not too far from Meteor City.” she pauses, as if waiting for comment.

Killua nods wordlessly, signaling her to go on.

“Also, I overheard a conversation that may interest you. It seems the messenger sent to Master Illumi was found dead.”

“That  _ **is**_ interesting.” Killua runs his thumb across his lower lip. If the messenger sent to Illumi was killed, it is likely that Illumi refuses to return. Killua does not want to jump to conclusions on what his reasons are, but it really couldn’t be anything good. He makes a mental note to investigate further, perhaps speak  to some of their mutual contacts. “Is there anything is else you can tell me? Anything that you think might be interesting to me, anything at all.”

“Well,” Canary says hesitantly “I’m not sure if it is relevant, but it seems that Master Kalluto has joined a group called the Phantom Troupe. I understand they’re highly wanted criminals.”

Killua’s eyes widen slightly, not expecting this in the least. It was hard to imagine his parents allowing Kalluto to do such a thing especially since Silva had told them pointedly to stay away from the troupe, not that it had really stopped any of them, but what would bring Kalluto to even think of  _ **joining**_ them?

He files the information for the back of his mind, though he suspects that the tidbit likely has little to do with the case. He cannot imagine why the Phantom Troupe would kill his grandfather. They have no motive, and there is simply nothing to gain for them. But though it might be nothing, it is still true that the Phantom Troupe is a group of dangerous and unpredictable individuals so one could not be too sure.

He will look into it later, he might even relay whatever he learns to Kurapika. (or perhaps he shouldn’t, Killua wasn’t very close to Kalluto but he didn’t want to send him to his death either, at the end of the day he wasn’t his worst brother)

The sound of a twig breaking as Canary shifts her feet pulls Killua’s attention back to her. He catches a brief uncomfortable look on her face before she schools it back into her usual stoicism.

“Something wrong?” he asks her.

“No,” she replies immediately, expression not faltering “except that I have told you all I know, and I’m afraid there’s nothing else possibly relating to Master Zeno.”

“Right.” Killua nods, wondering why that last sentence had been oddly specific “Well, keep poking around, see if you find something more. Let’s meet at lunch time tomorrow, it’ll give me an excuse to avoid my mother. And remember to head straight for me if Zebro calls you, I’ll probably just be in my room.”

“Yes.” Canary bows before turning on her heel to return to the Butler’s house.

Killua watches her walk away for a short moment, before returning to where he came from as well.

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The trouble with the situation is that Killua has far too many things to look into. He’d rather have no leads than too many. The truth is hidden behind too many possibilities. Killua knows that it could be that his paranoia is to blame, but anything less than paranoia is dangerous for people like his family.

He retires to his room after fixing himself a sandwich for lunch, and, as he sinks into his bed, Killua tries to recall his training. He supposes that if anyone could figure out a killer, it would be someone who was trained to kill from birth.

He thinks first, on the murder weapon, wonders why someone would use poison. Assuming the culprit was intelligent, the reason they’d use poison would be pretty simple, it’d be harder to find out who the killer is. It’s easy to hide physical evidence and make it look like an accident or a suicide. Even when it doesn’t look like that, poison leaves so much leeway for other possibilities.

Depending on the poison used the time and place of ingestion could be pretty hard to determine. Some poisons take months to take effect, maybe more for a Zoldyck considering their constitutions. But then, what if they’re an idiot? How would an idiot administer poison on a Zoldyck? By accident, for sure. Killua couldn’t think of any other way. But if an idiot had done it, there may have been no ill intent, and the investigation is moot.

Next he considers what poison could have been used. From the information he has Killua knows he can’t possibly figure out exactly what substance it is, not without testing his grandfather’s blood, which will never happen, unfortunately. He would never allow it. So he’s left now figuring out the most likelys.

So then, rephrasing the question, what poison would the killer have  _ **mostly likely**_ used?

“ _Something close at hand.”_  Killua thinks “ _Something_ **anyone**   _could have used. Whether the culprit’s an idiot or a genius they’d do that. An idiot would only mistakenly use something common to him or her, a smart person would use something common to throw people off.”_

The best thing to do then, was to retrace his grandfather’s steps and survey the poisons common in those areas. If something matches reasonably well then the culprit is likely an outsider, and Killua will have to make the necessary plans for picking up Alluka and erasing their tracks in all their subsequent journeys (though his family could still find him even with those precautions, an outsider for a culprit would mean that that doesn’t matter). If there is no such poison in the places his grandfather has been then the culprit is from within the estate and Killua is, in a word, fucked.

“ _I’ll need a computer and good online resources, the best thing to do is to go to an internet cafe, avoid an IP they can trace.”_  he thinks “ _I should avoid leaving the estate if I can though, I’ll talk to Canary about it tomorrow.”_

Killua knows he also has the option of talking to Milluki, but he would really rather bite off his own arm than borrow anything of his (and in any case he’d probably monitor Killua’s searches and tell their parents about it). Of course, it might be good to  _ **pretend**_ to want to borrow something from him so that he’d have an excuse to talk to him. Loyal as he might be to Kikyo there was still a chance he’d slip up, it was worth a try.

He sits up from his bed “ _Time to say hello to other big brother.”_

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Killua has always hated Milluki’s room. It is, without a doubt, the most disturbing room in the house. There is just something uniquely disconcerting about merchandise with scantily clad anime girls on them put in close proximity with instruments of torture. Killua was pretty sure this said something about Milluki (something disgusting no doubt), but he would rather not analyze it.

Not wanting to ever put Milluki under the impression that he respected him in anyway or form, Killua doesn’t even bother knocking before he enters. He doesn’t let the fact that the door had been locked get in his way either.

To Milluki’s credit, he barely flinches. His training might not have been as strict as Illumi’s or Killua’s but it was enough so that he wouldn’t embarrass himself. Mostly.

“What are you doing in here?” Milluki hisses. He turns his head to glare at Killua but his fingers never leave his keyboard. On the screen is a steady stream of code, for what, Killua has no idea. Likely a virus or a bomb, knowing Milluki.

“How has mother been?” Killua asks disinterestedly, making his words sound like preliminary small talk “She’s been acting out of character.”

“What are you talking about?” Milluki answers immediately “She’s been the same as usual.”

“Even though grandfather is dying?” Killua raises an eyebrow.

“Well she does cry about that sometimes, but mostly she’s been the same.”

Killua hums thoughtfully, stuffs his hands into his pockets and looks around the room.

Milluki glares at him “Why are you  _ **really**_  here?”

“ _He took the bait.”_ Killua thinks gleefully, careful not to let the emotion show on his face.

“I need a computer.” he says “Something fast, compact. Great internet connection too.”

Milluki swivels his chair to face him “And what’ll I get in return?”

Killua raises one eyebrow “Well, what would you like? Better be a fair trade though.”

Milluki puts a hand on his chin, rubbing it as he regards Killua warily. “What could I possibly want from you?”

“Information.” Killua says immediately. Unfortunately he had little else to offer. “Details about Greed Island, I was with my friend when he finished it.”

“What makes you think I don’t already have that information?”

“My friends’ dad is one of the creators of the game.”

Milluki’s eyes widen in shock for a moment, but his expression remains unconvinced “How does any information about the game itself help me when I won’t even have the chance to play it anytime soon?”

Killua clicks his tongue “Look, I know you couldn’t recreate the game from the memory card I gave you, what I’m telling you is that I know exactly  _ **why**_. I know enough about programming to know that pinpointing the errors helps makes the program run more smoothly. Do you want the information or not?”

“Fine.” Milluki says after a beat “I have plenty of spare computers anyway.”

“Great.” Killua grins “I’ll send you the info after you send me the computer.”

“Yeah yeah,” Milluki waves a hand, swiveling his chair to turn back to his computers “it’ll be in front of your room in an hour or two, now get out of my room.”

Killua tips over a couple of Milluki’s figurines, and leaves right at the beginning of a no doubt very loud rant.

The visit, he thinks, had been informative enough. Milluki’s tone and body language were revealing in how they were the same as usual. At least now he knows that whatever his mother is hiding she’s likely keeping only to herself, which meant that it’s personal to her and not very dangerous to others. Killua mentally crosses Milluki off the suspect list, and puts his mother in last place.

 

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The computer arrives in front of Killua’s room within the hour, earlier than promised. The butler who delivers it lingers at Killua’s door, waiting for what he has for Milluki in return. He scribbles the words “greed island isn’t data” onto a scrap of paper and sends it off with the butler.

Once alone, he immediately sets the computer up, preparing to do a few harmless searches which are believable enough that they would think the searches revealed what he was actually up to, but not specific enough that they would know the full extent of his thoughts. A little bit of the truth to throw them off the big picture.

Of course, this was only a precaution in case he was being watched. He has no idea how to program computers to protect them from prying eyes, he won’t even attempt to. He intends to send Canary to an internet cafe with a list of things to research about. To everyone else he will be sending her off on an errand to fetch a truck load of choco robots. He’s done it before, so it’s a good enough excuse. Not iron tight, but it will do.

Midway into Killua’s perusal of web pages with information on slow acting poisons, his phone rings and vibrates on his bed. He reaches for it from his place on the floor, and answers it without checking who it is.

“Hello.” he says dryly, tucking his phone between the side of his head and his shoulder. He continues to scan the webpage he is in until he hears the voice on the other line.

“Killua!” goes Gon’s bright voice “I wanted to check up on you, are you still at your house?”

“Gon.” Killua says, not able to help himself from sounding happy “Yes I’m still in Kukuroo Mountain.”

Gon's voice deflates “Why did you go back anyway? You haven’t told me.”

“ _You haven’t asked.”_  Killua almost says, but he knows that’s only an excuse. He wonders how truthful he should be with Gon, how much of his situation he should reveal. He didn’t want to trouble Gon with this, and there was also the chance of someone listening in on their conversation. Killua hasn't parted with his cellphone so he knows it isn't wiretapped, but his room is another story. He'd checked for bugs, but he thinks he might not be able spot some if Milluki had made them. After all, even he has to admit his knowledge of technology is inferior to his older brother's.

“Killua?” Gon’s voice sounds worried and tense. Killua shakes his head, it wouldn’t do to make him think something was going terribly wrong.

“It’s my grandpa.” he starts, a hint of hesitation in his voice-- unintentional, but Killua thinks it makes him sound like he’s telling the whole truth “He’s sick.”

“Your grandpa’s sick? That’s terrible!” says Gon “Is it bad?”

“Bad enough. He thinks he might die, I’ve never seen him like this. Father’s called everyone home, even big brother.”

Gon pauses for a moment, Killua can tell he’s not pleased about that last bit “Are you going to be alright by yourself? Where’s Alluka?”

“She’s safe. And you worry too much.”

“Well if you’re sure you’re ok, then I guess you are. I hope your grandpa gets better.”

“Yeah, me too. How are you? I just realized I haven’t asked. Sorry.”

“I was just telling you about it yesterday though!” Gon laughs “I’m fine. Nothing new since yesterday.”

“That’s… That’s good.” Killua clears his throat “Listen I’ll call you again tomorrow, there are some... things I’ve gotta do.”

“Oh.” Gon’s dejected voice makes him want to take it back, Killua bites his lip “Well, I’ll be waiting then. For your call.”

“Right.”

Gon doesn’t hang up immediately, makes a sound like he's about to say something, but stops. Then, he hurriedly whispers goodbye, and Killua hears a click before he can reply. He tosses his phone back onto his bed, puts his face in his hands, and sighs.

 

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The sound of Milluki gnashing his teeth is terrible even to his own ears. The information Killua gave him is enlightening but not quite as useful in the long run. At least now he knew to give up while he was ahead. What was bothering him more however was the feeling that the exchange they'd made had been unequal, that Killua gave more than he got. Milluki's never known him to do that, and it is suspicious.

Perhaps, he thinks, a computer is of much higher value to Killua at the moment than Milluki can understand because of some unique circumstances he was in. Maybe it's related to their grandfather. Milluki admittedly has not been to see him, perhaps Killua saw something that no one else has. Or perhaps it was something bigger. Urgent enough that he'd strike a deal to borrow something as simple as another computer.

His fingers twitch over his mouse. He can access the computer he'd lent from where he sits, he can easily find out what Killua is using it for. It strikes him suddenly, that his mother might like to know. It would certainly put her in better spirits. Maybe he'd even get a compliment or two for telling her. And if it would make mother happy, then why ever not.

Right. That decides it then. It wasn't as if the act would be a challenge to him, and there was no harm in doing so anyway. Killua might not be an idiot but he didn't know nearly enough about computers to figure out that Milluki had checked up on him.

He reaches out for the soda next to his keyboard, and slurps it loudly as he maneuvers through his network and into Killua's hard drive. Once there he is disappointed by the lack of anything interesting. The internet history reveals nothing but searches for webpages on slow acting poisons, which is neither surprising nor alarming.

Milluki taps his desk and grits his teeth again. It's too innocent. Either Killua was bored out of his wits or there's something else, and Milluki's inclined towards the second option. After all if he was just bored surely he'd look for something other than poisons right? Yes, he is sure of it.

He wonders what he could be up to, is he searching for a cure for their grandfather? Is he looking to poison one of them? Or is this a diversion for something else? Should Milluki even care?

He stares at the screen in front of him, frowning. He needs more information.

 

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Kalluto responds to the knock on his bedroom door in the usual irksome manner– he opens it just enough so that he can peer out with one eye and clutches at his door knob tightly, preventing his visitor from seeing the inside of his room. It is as if he were always hiding something in there and everyone is too untrustworthy to see it. It is irritating because Killua knows there is nothing for him to hide, nothing that all of them haven't seen before. He is glad that he is here in his room and not with their mother, but he has to bite the inside of his cheek until the irrational old irritation of his dissipates.

“I want to talk to you,” he says after a beat “about the Phantom Troupe.”

Kalluto blinks, pupils dilating slightly, the only sign of his surprise. Then, he opens the door the rest of the way and says “Come in.” as he makes way for Killua to enter.

Taking his seat on Kalluto's bed, Killua looks around once to see if anything has changed and finds that nothing has. The same dreary furniture. The same display of elaborately decorated fans. It's unsurprising. Somewhat comforting even. The Zoldyck household had always been stagnant, the only changes that had happened in recent years were changes that Killua himself had brought and, apparently, Kalluto's flight from their mother's nest.

Kalluto stands in front of him, hands on his sides, posture lax. He shows no signs of discomfort, but the fact that he hasn't taken his seat anywhere tells Killua that perhaps he is.

“Why did you join them?” he asks, looking his little brother in the eyes.

“There is something I wanted to achieve.” Kalluto answers. His voice does not waver, and his answer is infuriatingly vague. He is better at this than Milluki, Killua thinks, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“And you defied father for it?”

“I did no such thing.” it isn't said in a snappish manner, but Killua can never really tell with him for sure, so he closes his mouth, and waits for him to continue. “Father wasn't against it,” says Kalluto “he says they are great allies as much as they are frustrating opponents. It's why he's allowed us to do jobs for them, but not against them.”

“You've done jobs for them personally?”

“Yes, with big brother Illumi and great grandfather.”

What an unusual threesome “I know the Phantom Troupe. Not quite as an enemy, but I'm friends with someone who's hunting them.”

“Hunting them?' for the first time in the conversation a hint of emotion appears on Kalluto's face, he looks alert, almost frightened.

“Hunting to kill.” Killua nods “I don't think you could beat him. You'd be killed.”

Kalluto grips the side of his kimono, his hold so tight Killua can see the veins above his knuckles. “The others, do you think he could beat  _ **them**_?”

“Possibly. He was the one who killed the member you replaced. I don't know how he did it.” a lie obviously, but he wasn't about to reveal Kurapika's secrets “I honestly didn't think he could at first, but he did.”

Kalluto looks thoughtful for a moment “Are you telling me to leave the Troupe?”

“No.” he answers immediately “Just telling you in case they haven't, and it looks like they didn't.”

“They've mentioned it, but I do not think they know I am your brother. They know I am a Zoldyck, but that's all. I also think that they think they can win against your friend, who I assume is the chain user?”

Killua nods “He's the one. Why do they think they'd win? I suppose they might be able to if they gang up, but my friend's pretty smart, he wouldn't let that happen." his confidence in Kurapika's abilities is slightly exaggerated, but he can tell Kalluto thinks he's completely serious. Killua hopes it means he'll reveal something useful. "The only one who I could see beating him one on one is their leader, and he's incapacitated.” 

Kalluto barely twitches, but Killua catches the movement before he can suppress it. He thinks of Hisoka in Greed Island, and a realization dawns in his head. He'd been right, the bastard was up to something. Kurapika had brushed his warning off when he'd called last, but a reaction like this from a member of the Troupe was damning evidence. He'd have to listen now. He doesn't let his thoughts show on his face, instead he feigns disinterest.

“I just wanted to warn you, my friend's unpredictable when it comes to the Troupe, extremely driven too. He'd stop at nothing to kill every single member. If you're not prepared to die you should leave them.”

Kalluto regards him cooly without speaking, then shifts his gaze to his feet. “Thank you. I will keep it in mind.”

“Right.” Killua rises from his seat “Have you gone to visit grandfather today?”

Kalluto stills, gaze not straying from his feet. “Yes.” he says, voice strained.

“Is he worse?”

“Yes.” Kalluto says again, still not looking at him.

If it's that bad, Killua thinks, then that must mean he's not going to get any better. “I should go see him.”

Kalluto nods silently and Killua awkwardly gives a curt nod back. They both head for the door. Kalluto trails behind, and shuts the door quietly after Killua's leaves. Outside, Killua lingers for a moment, listening for any activity inside. He hears none.

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Zeno is having tea again in his room. Killua thinks it has something to do with detoxifying. He's never been the biggest fan of tea so he doesn't really know. But whether it's the tea or something else, Zeno looks calmer than he did the previous day, and he looks no worse either. In fact he almost seems like he's getting better. (although his color has not really improved, leading Killua to believe his current state is purely from his strength of will).

“Kalluto seems tense.” Killua says offhandedly, after sitting in silence for a few minutes. “I thought it was because of his visit with you today, but it looks like I was wrong.”

Zeno gives him an incredulous look that's almost a glare. He doesn't need to say anything to communicate that he wants Killua to explain himself. If it's because of his uncharacteristic visit to Kalluto or his remark about being wrong he isn't sure, so he opts to explain both.

“I found out he joined the Phantom Troupe, so we chatted a bit about that since I know them as well. He seemed tense when I asked how you were so I thought you'd taken a turn for the worse.”

Zeno snorts “As you can see, I have not gotten worse. I do not know what's wrong with your brother, he was fine when he left early this afternoon.” he takes a small sip of his tea “Ask your mother about it, she would know.”

“Maybe.” Killua sighs, tries not to grimace. He drums his fingers on the table for a moment, but stops when his grandfather glares at him for it. He sighs again, wearily this time, and grabs his cup to down his tea in one gulp. “I should go.” he says, rising from his seat.

Zeno waves a hand dismissively “Go.” he says “And tell your father to come see me, there is something I wish to discuss.”

Killua nods, and can't help the frown that graces his face. He'd planned on avoiding his father until he'd gathered more information, but now he's obligated to see him. He didn't expect everything to go so smoothly of course, but still. Road bumps are unpleasant.

“Are you unhappy about something?” Zeno doesn't sound angry, but he does seem surprised at Killua's openly expressed emotion.

“Plenty.” Killua replies wryly, twisting his mouth in what he hopes is a humorous face of distaste.

Zeno let's out a breath, it's a second before Killua realizes it's a laugh. “That's the spirit.” he says, startling him again.

“ _Had that been a joke?”_ he wonders, as he walks down the hall to his father's.

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The screen monitoring Killua's activity comes to life in the early evening. Milluki does not immediately notice it. He turns only when the distinct sounds of a game he had finished playing months ago catches his attention.

His brows furrow further in confusion “Is he just bored after all?” he mutters, turning back to his work. He leaves the other computer running to record his little brother's activities (which by the sound of it, involved doing badly an unchallenging video game).

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Illumi kills the second messenger sent to him, thinking him a spy. He nearly kills the third one too, but, due to a stroke of luck, the third messenger manages to evade in time. Illumi ends up stabbing his arm.

“I have a message!” the messenger shouts as Illumi's hand sinks in to his flesh. To his credit, he sounds neither frightened nor desperate. In fact he sounds demonstrative, and interestingly enough, almost commanding. “It's from Mistress Kikyo and Master Silva.” he holds out a small rolled piece of paper with his good hand. His eyes twitch slightly from the pain but he holds Illumi's gaze steadfastly. Respectable.

Illumi withdraws his hand from the other man's arm, and swiftly shakes away the blood. He wipes the remaining red inside his pocket as he unfurls the message with his clean hand.

“This message says that all my brothers are home, can you confirm that?”

“Master Kalluto and Master Killua have both returned to Kukuroo Mountain.” the messenger answers carefully. He looks taken aback by the question, more for the very fact that it was asked, Illumi thinks, than for the content.

Illumi hums thoughtfully. Interesting, very interesting. “Tell them I will return after my job is finished.”

The messenger nods, then promptly disappears into the woods surrounding them.

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Canary has no news for him the next day, but that much, Killua had expected. If the butlers were unwilling to speak, they would likely keep their mouth shut forever. It didn't hurt to persist, but he knew he ought to explore the other avenues he'd thought of at the same time.

“I want you to find out the route grandfather had used to go to his last job, that much is probably not a secret. You can wheedle it out of someone most likely. You can tell Gotoh I asked you to do it–” Canary frowns at that, but does not interrupt him “–then I want you to go out to a random internet cafe, and do a search for all of the incurable poisons common to all the areas he passed. If you can't find out which route he used exactly, think of all the likely routes you can and search for poisons based on every possibility.”

She nods, still frowning.

“Is something wrong Canary?”

“It is nothing.” she says “What sort of poisons should I be looking for?”

Killua regards her skeptically for a moment before saying. “Ones that fit the time frame between grandfather's contact with them and his 'sickness' emerging.”

“That is very broad.” Canary says, evading his gaze.

He clicks his tongue “Are you hiding something from me?”

“Nothing about Master Zeno.”

“So you  _ **are**_ hiding something, but it's unrelated. Yet you feel guilty enough to let it show, so it isn't nothing either.”

Canary bites her lip.

“Nevermind,” Killua grunts “If it's not related to the matter with grandfather then I will respect that you don't want to tell me yet. But promise me that you  _ **will**_ tell me.”

“I...” she shakes her head “Alright, I promise.”

Killua smiles, reassuringly he hopes “Please do the thing I asked discretely. On your way out tell Zebro to call this number if big brother comes home.” he hands her a piece of paper with his cellphone number scribbled on it. "And on your way home buy a lot of choco robots."

Canary nods “Shall I go now?”

“Best if you do yeah, I want this done as soon as possible. Didn't call you out last night only because it would seem suspicious. Maybe I should give you my cellphone number.” Killua bites his thumb, then shakes his head “No. Nevermind. This is safer. Let's just meet same time tomorrow.”

“Understood.”

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_He writhes on the floor, drool dripping from his open mouth despite his best efforts, his nails clawing into the clean white tiles of the training room. His groans of pain, though muffled as he grits his teeth, echoes in the vast room, empty save for himself and his brother who stands next to his flailing body. It is not his first time with torture training, it is not even his first time with electric shocks, and that makes him hate his weakness all the more._

_He’s only six years old but he knows he should be better than this. He bites his lower lip, hard enough to make it bleed. Slowly, he gets himself onto his knees and lifts his head to gaze at his brother. Illumi’s stare is unreadable, there are no signs of boredom or disappointment on his face. There is only a blank look as he waits for Killua stand again._

_Killua shakily pulls himself onto his feet, he does not keep his eyes off the device in his brother’s right hand, braces himself for what he knows is to come. At the very moment he is steady, he hears a faint click and the device crackles with electricity. Killua feels his stomach drop, and he heaves a breath, holds it._

_The shock this time is less painful than the one before it, yet still, for a moment, he sees white. He bites the inside of his cheek, feeling blood trickling inside his mouth, tasting it. He focuses on the sensation, willing himself into silence. He clenches his fist, stubbornly pressing his feet onto the ground so he doesn’t fall over again. To his relief, he succeeds in keeping himself upright until the pain subsides._

_He thinks (he_ **hopes** _) he has more control over his body now. Perhaps he’s getting better at this. He looks up at his brother again, and almost jumps back in surprise, finding his face a mere three inches from his own._

“ _If your job is to kill a president of a country, any country, how would you do it?” Illumi asks conversationally as Killua still stares at him wide eyed._

“ _Poison.” he answers immediately, schooling his face into a more neutral expression “I’d give him poison.”_

“ _What kind?”_

“ _Something from his house.” as he speaks, any sign of having been rattled leaves his voice and Killua grows more and more sure of himself “So they suspect one of his servants, if they ever suspect anything at all.”_

_Illumi blinks once “Childish, but effective.” he says “Why poison?”_

“ _It’s easier to make it look like an accident or a suicide. Since the target’s a president their murder will have only the best detectives working on it, maybe even a Hunter, it’s better if their death is as bland as possible so they won’t suspect us.”_

“ _Bland. I see. Why not asphyxiation?”_

“ _Marks.” Killua spits out the blood that had pooled in his mouth “Both from the struggle and the murder weapon. If I had, for example, used a pillow there is a chance stuffing would get caught in the victim’s throat, there’s a chance that the victim would also scratch me leaving DNA evidence under their fingernails. If I used my bare hands or some rope the later remains a problem and I would still leave a recognizable imprint on the victim’s neck. Investigators would have more evidence to start with. It’s inconvenient, which is why poison’s the best, especially common poison. It could be anyone.”_

“ _But what if our client wants people to know it was a Zoldyck?”_

_Killua pauses “People, meaning everyone?”_

_Illumi just looks at him suggesting that the answer to that question should be obvious to him. Killua takes a second mull on it before speaking._

“ _Then I’ll make him disappear. I’d keep his body whole, for the most part, but I’ll remove his face, empty out his head until there’s nothing there but skull. Maybe I’ll even take part of that away, it doesn’t matter, at any rate his face would be unrecognizable. I’d burn his hands and feet too, so they can’t get his fingerprints or toe prints, or even palm prints. I’d hollow out his insides so even experts would have a difficult time finding the cause of death and time of death. Then I’d take him somewhere where a lot of people get murdered every day, somewhere where people won’t give a dead body a second glance. But then, even if someone did look long enough, his face would be all maggots by then, no one would recognize him. And I’d hide him in his own country, he’ll rot there and no one will ever know. Well--” Killua looks at Illumi “--no one who isn’t smart enough to be afraid of us at least.”_

_The corner of Illumi’s mouth twitches. Killua swears, it’s almost a smile._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My characterization of the Zoldycks here, especially Killua is largely drawn from his HxH 1999 characterization. This was not at first, a conscious choice. Recently I rewatched HxH 1999 and realized that the Killua in my head has always been HxH 1999 Killua, who is more terrifying (imo) and more conflicted about his heritage than HxH 2011's Killua. The difference of course between the two characterizations of Killua is subtle, and might be in large part a product of his old voice actor, and the imagery the HxH 1999 animators chose to associate him (e.g. Killua rubbing Milluki's blood on the walls on the way out of their house after stabbing both him and Kikyo, there's a smile on his face, in the background Kikyo and is crying to her husband and Kalluto watches from a door slightly ajar).

**Author's Note:**

> I'm planning for this chapters to be five or six chapters long but we'll see. I'll probably update really slowly too, I've already started writing the other chapters but it'll take a while till I'm satisfied enough to post them probably. (I'll post chapters once read them over twice, then I'll probably edit them again the day after posting).
> 
> In writing this, I was greatly inspired by Fuminori Nakamura's "Evil and The Mask" and The Godfather (both the book and the movies, mostly the book). This fic isn't based on the events of either book however.
> 
> Also I might change the title later on, idk.


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